黒い雨に打たれながら

I guess it's kind of obvious what I'm going to write about today, being Norwegian and all.
I decided I wouldn't think about this today, not until my dad turns the TV on anyway. But then this morning I got a comment on my Facebook stat that kind of tipped over the tower of sand that I'd built todays good mood on.

The fact is, I didn't have any friends who were killed or even injured. I had some who were at work or coming home from work that felt the explotion, and one friend who was on his way bringing a bachelir party for his friend, that they were planning to have at a strip club that was aparrently completely destroyed. Luckily this happened before they opened.

But on the other hand, I can't beleive it even myself how close we all suddenly feel as a people. The attack feels very personal, and the people who died all felt close all of a sudden.
I love my country, but I'm not a person with very strong patriotic feelings of any kind. I've been thinking that maybe it's because the attack was on a socialist movement (and I've been brought up in a socialist home, so until I was like 14 I didn't even think that right-wing people existed in real life, I thought they were movie villians. If this makes you think I'm a commi or a terrorist or whatever idk, you better not be reading my blog :p I don't follow any spesific political views, but my thinking is always to the left). But the think is, I don't think that's it. I don't think of this as an attack on any political movement (even though that's what the criminal seems to do), it was an attack on kids.
When I was that age I was a punk rocker and did alot of stupid stuff for causes I would think through a lot more carefully now. If you have beef with a political movement, take it up with them you know...
In the end, all I feel is that this is an attack on my people, and on my city (I don't live in Oslo, but that's where I hang out, that's where I belong), and I think that's what everybody else feels as well.
I don't think this dude could ever be a hero to anyone, and I don't think he can gain any allies by slaughtering kids! But then again, maybe that's my beleif again that nazis and right-wing extremists are not for real?

Wow, I wasn't going to talk about it and look how much I wrote!
The case is, I don't want to see the pictures of this. I can understand that people want to see what's going on, and in the case of the bombing I think that people should (even though I try not to myself, just like I couldn't watch the pictures from Japan, seeing somewhere you know smashed up like this is just too much for me). But I don't think that showing pictures of dead people in the streets or floating around in the water is ok. At least blur them out you know, and the reason for this is respect.
I know I wouldn't want my picture there for anyone to see if I had been killed, and I wouldn't want to see someone I know in a shot like that before hearing that they were dead. Futher, I wouldn't like any children to see it.
The comment I got today is "this is reallity, you have to face it", but in fact it's very real to me just hearing about it.
There have also been numerous interviews with kids who have gotten off the island, and I do think these are very omportant stories to tell. We all need to know what happened, and we all want to help them take the pain, somehow. But they started doing these interviews the same day! They were talking to this boy who was messaging with his girlfriend who was on the island, even before the shooter was caught!
They have been visiting hospitals...
I guess to anyone living out in the big world this doesn't seem like a big deal, I guess I always thought that Norwegian press had a little more decency, but I guess that's just 'casue we've never had a case like this before.
And so listening to this over and over and over again, since the TV was on the whole day yesterday and even though I don't watch it I can constantly hear it, I got fed up and vented on Facebook, like you do, and this morning woke up to a pissed comment that I should turn the fucking TV off then and that this is reallity and you have to face it and move on, and not draw childish pictures of murderers and that some of the things I said really provoked her.
Yes, one of my vents was to doodle on the face of the murderer. I know it's childish, and I wrote that it is childish and I just needed venting. I'm on board with being critisized about that, and I'm on board with people not agreeing with what I think. I guess I just didn't expect it from the person it came from, because it's someone I've always gotten along with and laughed with. Also, I write a lot of shit on my Facebook that sometimes sounds really harsh, way harsher than this. You could say I expected negative reactions to my face-doodle 'cause I knew it was a stupid thing to do, but not to a plea that the press stopped talking about and showing pictures of bodybags.

And yeah, complaining about a Facebook-comment on my blog? Childish huh? I mean ONE comment. The next time we meet we'll probably laugh and be chummy, I hope, but right now I just need to try and get this, and abviously a lot of other things, off my chest. No names or hints. Don't even really need anyone to reads this. Just sometimes I've very sensitive, and right now.. yeah. I want to try and have a normal day today.

ダイナマイト授業！！

 Day before yesterday I went to Oslo with Cat, to go to a café and draw some and talk bullshit. Mostly the last one.
I tried to make up a list of the clothes I can bring to Japan, to eliminate the things I CAN'T bring. As it looks right now, I'll be bringing five pairs of shoes...
The thing is though, I'll be really stripped of money. If I don't get a scholarship I'm not really sure how I'll manage the first year, even though Toukai is a lot cheaper than Jousai was. And hence, I won't have much money to shop, so I thought if I BRING the stuff I need then I can stop myself from shopping so much...
I do have my doubts it'll actually work though.
 

 This is ALMOST my outfit from that day. This is actually a picture I took a couple of days earlier, and then it started raining, so I had to change clothes (And yes yes, my room's a mess. Hey, that rhymes!).
My hair was different, and I wore these shoes:

 With a bracelet around my foot, lol. Hey, I see people do it all the time!

 And this was the lunch I accidentally spent money on. I shouldn't be eating out! Or drinking tea at cafés, for that matter, but you see, I have a months train pass. Now shouldn't I use it and get my (my dads) moneys worth?
Mind you, a train pass is worth fuck all this month, as the noble train company of Norway have decided that they will finally do something about their shortcomings, and have declared the line from my town to Oslo, cut. Until August 9th. It's been going on for over a month now and it's completely ridiculous!
Not the fact that they're actually fixing the problems, that was about fucking time, but the fact that they cut one of the busiest lines for more than a month and don't provide proper substitues.
The direct lines (that will take you to Oslo in 12 minutes) are suspended, and instead you'll have to get on the local line, which in 20+ minutes gets you to a station two stops short of Oslo central, and then you have to get off, walk to a tume station which is rediculusly far away, and hope theres a train from there, because God forbid they correspond!
Why don't they have a bus substituting the direct line??!
Because it's such a hassle, I've been taking the bus a lot, but that takes an hour!
Especially when going home, 'cause the tubes and trains don't correspond, I use the bus. I've never noticed how awful the bus is until now.
Crammy, sweaty, shakey. Yesterday I actually got sick and had to get off at a stop about 30 minutes walk from home. I like walking though, so I didn't mind too much. I was just really naucious. Once I got off the bus though, I felt better.

This is me walking... just in case you didn't beleive me :p

And then I have to talk about this weekend for a littlebit.
We had a birthday party for Cilee and Julie. It's hard to find a time when we can all meet these days, so we have to do combination parties and stuff :p But that's allright!

The plan was dinner and a concert, so I wore something fitted for a live.

Actually it's just a perfect excuse to dress like and emo, and I also had a bad hair day :p


Here are the girls:

Well, not all of them, and actually we also had to boys, Alex and Eivin. But I kind of forgot to take more pictures :p
We ate at something called the Nighthawk Diner, where the staff insisted on speaking to us in English, even though I could have sworn the girl that showed me my seat spoke Norwegian!
They have kind of an American concept thing going, so the staff might be instructed to speak American, but the thing is that in Norway (at least with my groups) we concider it kind of snobbish to speak English to fellow Norwegians...
The food was really good though!
My friend who's a vegitarian got a burger with a huge mushroom instead of meat, and the waitress warned her it tasted just like steak, but luckily she said it didn't. Why do people think vegitarians want to eat stuff that tastes like meat, if they were so into meat they wouldn't be vegis, right?

This, too, was very good. I don't remember what it's called, but it's like a ginger been vanilla milkshake.
We all had to try it :p

After the dinner we went to a nearby park to "get ready" for the live. That means we bought affordable alcohol at a supermarked and got affordably drunk.
I'm not one of thos people who HAVE to get drunk at lives, actually in most cases I prefer not to, but when it comes to Guitar Wolf, you kinda have to :D

If you don't know Guitar Wolf, they're an old fashion rock'n roll band from Japan. My ex was really into them, and I've seen them live once before, in Cologne when they played with AnCafe, bis and Girugamesh. A very strange mix, but one of the most meroable lives I've been to, mostly because of Guitar Wolf being drunk and disorderly on stage, blowing the minds of all the VK-fangirls who had never heard of them before and were fighting for a spot in front of the vocals, awaiting Girugamesh.
In Oslo they played head-lining, at a club called John Dee. It's not too big, just about the right size for an indie rock concert? And I was surprised at how many people showed up to see them.
The girls in the middle even brought a poster of a picture they'd taken with them XD
The audience was quite different from the live I've been to lately (I say lately, but it's like 6 months ago now).
The sound wasn't very good where we were standing, 'casue the speakers were on the side of the stage. To be honest all I could really hear was the bass and some vocals and the rest was noise. But then again, I don't really know Guitar Wolf all that well and havn't listened to them in forever, so I wouldn't have recognised their songs anyway.
I know they played this:

Basically 'cause Guitar wanted us to shout "KOUKOUSEI!" (high school kids) into the mic, and I think I said "HA??" instead because I was sure I heard wrong:p

We were properly drunk allright.
Some time during the show they pulled guys up on stage and made a cheerleader pyramid XD Alex got pulled up and he was like the middle layer, and I got really worried that he wouldn't be strong enough ('cause he's recovering from chemo and stuff), but he's just fine! When he got back down all he could say was "did I look stupid?"
Well, for a dude on all fours in a cheerleader pyramid, I guess you looked allright XD

After the show Cat and Cillee were sleepy and wanted to go home. I wanted to wait with the others, 'cause I really wasn't tired, but if I get stuck in Oslo I'll be in trouble. It's not a very safe city. So I went home with them, which I kind of wish I didn't, 'cause the others apparrently got a hold of Guitar Wolf (that is, vocal and guitarplayer, Mr. Guitar Wolf) and took him to a pub.
So jalous XD

Come with me to the planet of liquid skies

The rest of the week that Fran was here! Better late than never!
Well, since the prices of alcohol in Norway are criminal by law, she had brought us a few gifts from Great Britain!
A bottle of Vodka, a dark rum, a fucking Jack Daniels and this...

I know I kinda missed the bottle (it's not easy taking a self-portrait), but it's a bottle of Malibu! My new boom from the last time I went to Japan. ALMOST as good as Moscow Mule. Almost.
So ofcourse we wanted to all enjoy these gifts in the limited time we had left together, that concluded in intensive home partying XD
Who wants to go out in Norway anyway? 100 kr. for a beer and a selection between what we call "party sweeds" or dudes who don't brush their hair and think that they need to have beer guts to attract the oposite sex. Not to mention girls who sit in the bar chairs without their underwear and (I suspect) actually do find beer guts attractive...

In Norway I'm only really interested in drinking with my friends, and then I might as well do it at home or in the park, where the alcohol is affordable and you can pick your own music.
Well, I say this, but the only people I know who will go along with listening to both visual kei and j-emo for extensive time are Cat and Fran. That's how I conclude that we are not losers, even though it was only the three of us getting drunk.
Call me sad if you must, I was happy then XD

But, ofcourse we wanted treats with our splishy-splashy, so we decided to go into Oslo!

We also visited a fabric store where Cat wanted to look for fabric for trousers and I picked up lace for my skirt, that Fran made for me. Bless the people who can sew.
I was all out of clothes by then, so I had to borrow from Cat.

I look like an emo-scene-something XD
But I guess it suits my taste in music lately.
Las Vegas and Fear from the Hate 4 evah! Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah yeah!

Ok, that's enough.

But not quite! Check out my emo-shoes XDXD

with calf-socks, they were like the only clean pieces of clothes I had left :p

I also discovered Nyancat this week.
(Blogger is being a bith about putting photoes in the centre, this new system is bugged as shit!)
Anyway, this is where I put a link to Nyancat in my Norwegian blog, I... realize that's very unessescary. The thing is, she makes me really happy! Seriously, I can put on the 3 hour version, plug in my earphones and drown put Tour de France on TV. Works perfect for me!

But we were talking about treats!
Fran loves baking and she's really good at it too. We had no objections!
She also likes to do dishes, the perfect housewife. Once, she cleaned the whole kitchen counter at my dads place, that's not for the faint hearted!

While the cake was in the oven, splishy-splashy :D

Cat's good at mixing drinks. What am I good at?
What's my stupid social talent? D:

Waiting, waiting. Taking it out, checking, back in.
Cooling off while baking another one, then icing, then ...

Whoopdidoo!
There was one carrot cake and one coffee cake.
The carrot cake was my favourite, it had nuts! I love nuts!

Trollfaces...

I hope we didn't bother Jack too much. She's very sensitive to sound when she sleeps, and she had to go to bed early 'cause she's actually got a real proper job.
Us, we stayed up and looked at old back numbers of SHOXX and Fools Mate. Recepie for desperation. Fran, I hope you don't think less of me after the way I (vaguely remember I) drooled over Kazutake, and also please forget those photoes on my computer of ex... ex-whatevers XD

The next day we went to do something very cultural, and go have a barbecue in the park, like Oslo-people like to do in the summer.
The weather was almost with us!

This was taken during one of the good periods.
Jack and Julie also joined us after work, I hope we weren't too annoying, we'd been drinking for a few hours when they got there XD

That week was a major stray from the path, but sometimes you have to go all out.

She looks tired, but at least she had a lot less to carry than when she came.

Bye bye, Fran, hope to see you soon!
It would be awsome if you could come visit us in Japan!

A happy birthday party!

In the event that I suddenly don't know who I am or even who I want to be, I suddenly got the urge to use some left over hair colour I had lying around.
It turned out allright I guess. Not so good at the roots, because they've never been bleached, but I guess I don't really care that much at the moment.
Supergrin. Anyone can do it!

So this was Friday, and we were going out to celebrate Cats birthday. Kinda feel like we've been celebrating it all week XD
The party was taking place at the same place as we did Alex's party the week before, but before that I met up with her at uni. And let me tell you it is not easy to get anywhere these days! I opened my door and suddenly I was in the Norwegian highlands, the snow had been sweeped around by the wind and there wasn't even the slightest trace of a trail from the house down to the street XD
The trains too were in complete chaos, but I did get there eventually.
Cat carries an eyepatch in the purse, for some reason. And now, for some other reason, it's in MY purse. How did that get there and what am I gonna do with it?XD

Also had a lovely shot of Cat with the eyepatch on her nose (I smell a new Visual Kei-trendXD), but she didn't agree with me that the world wide web needed to see that picture. But I've got another great shot for the world wide web!
That's the birthday girl :D

Marjus(who kinda runs the pub we were going to) had told us we could come in a bit early and decorate or whatever, so we were there like half an hour before. Marjus, however, was not XD
But we found this:
Eivind had also been nerd enough to show up ridiculously early, and so all we could do was hang out at the closest grocery store.
Finally I remembered I had Marjus' number from when we were in the same class, so I called him and he said he was just on his way out. I think he was there at eight on the dot, which is when the pub opens XD
It's not a very frequented place (not yet anyway ;) so there was no line or anything. Which was great, because we were hoping there wouldn't be so many people we didn't know.
A few other guests did show up, but half the place was taken up by Cats birthday party. So many people showed up and the mood was so nice!

I should have gotten more pictures of everyone, but I was kinda preoccupied with talking to friends.
Since it's V-day on Monday they had a Valentine-game, where everyone was to pick a piece of a heart out of a box, and then find the person with the unique piece that fitted yours. There were some unlikely pairings XD
Aww, they even have matching shirts XD
I didn't join, I don't think I need more men in my life right now f^-^

And then it was burfday cake time!
Heidi (who by the way baked the amazing cake. Oreo)looked completely stunning that day, I can't say it enough. She swore she hadn't dressed up more than usual, but she looked so cool! Marjus, in the background, looks slightly psycho killer-kei here XD
One can only guess what she wished for. I think I know some of the things ^-^
I think it's a long time since someone invited this many people and it turned out so great!

Going home we missed the last train, but we caught a bus and it's so easy to loiter on the night buses in Norway we went all the way home to Jacks place for no money at all^^b
We also had an extra passanger, because Eivind suddenly didn't want to go home alone. Which made the sleeping situation a little tight.
Jack and Cilliee both slept in Jacks room, and then Kimmie was gonna be on the sofa and Cat, Eivind and I had to sleep head-to-foot in Cats bed. I guess we're all what you can call old friends, so it wasn't really akward, but I kinda felt like I was back to that time when you're just out of junior high, making new friends and having these massive parties where everyobody stays over and sleeps in heeps on the couthces and floor and everywhere XD
Seems like the last train home wasn't invented back then.
Go nostalgia :p



Speaking of ...."new friends"? I don't know.
The reason for me being fucked in the head lately is, ofcourse, the man... or rather the men, I guess.
Nuts is still being incredably frustrating. I get that he's a slow writer and way too busy all the time, but this time it's been more than a week since I heard from him. I hate this long distance thing, I mean even if I was in Japan now I'd be eating up my finger nails going "why doesn't he love meeee?!" even though I know he likes me. The problem is that I don't think he's really that INTERESTED in me. Being together is fun and cuddling up together, ofcourse, is nice, but I can't blame him for not seeing a future in it. Sooo, that fucks me up.
What saves me, and maybe fucks me up even more, is.... this other dude.
We've been sending mail since I got back, and I was thinking he was being awfully friendly, but for once my ego couldn't convince me he actually liked me, even though Cat kept going on and on that he did, it would just be too strange.
But he does, or he's "seriously interested", if you can dig it. Poor japanese tranlation, sorry:p
He's really nice, and kinda hot and he sends a lot of mail. Interesting mail, with like pictures an stuff:
Very interesting, I know, but it's things like these that keeps you in touch. This is what I ate today, this is the waether today, this is todays backstage.
And this is where he lives, I know, I should just shut up and marry the guy XD
Buuuuut, the thing is that he's a lot older than me (at least in my standards) and also he kinda sorta plays in a band I like, and that compromises a lot. Plus, I like NutsO__O
I have to admit I'm really flattered and really happy (and really confused) about it all, but it's not up for discussion. And still I catch myself thinking about all the reasons why it wouldn't work, as if I'm actually trying to convince myself to stay away. And it should be the other way around, right? Or maybe not?

Yes, it is Hell inside my head.

冬を愛する人は心広き人

A little drawing I started at Cats place this weekend. We finally got to sit down and draw together:D
If you ask me what it is I'll sayyyy.... "Well it's a Disney ganguro scene queen ofcourse, are you blind?" :p
It's something, and it looks kinda cute. Question is, who's gonna buy it? XD

In other news, I can tell you that yesterday it was snowing like a motherfucker here in Norway.
It's very pretty, and I'll admit that snow can be very romantic. When you're holding somebodys hand that is. When you're missing someone like crazy, who doesn't even have the time to send mails more than a few times a week, it makes you feel kinda hopeless and small.
Ever thought of that when you look up while it's snowing, the sky kinda seems even higher, just because you can't see where the snow's coming from?
Ofcourse, if you look up while it's snowing you'll get snow in your eyes, and your mascara will be all over your face.
That's what I looked like when I got on the train, going to my comicing circle^^;. because I didn't know it would be snowing so hard I'd need a hat. My hair was soaking wet too XD
No, I didn't plunge my feet into the snow to make it look dramatic, the street hadn't been mowed yet. And all this came in one night!
Funny thing is that the unbelievable seems to have happened! I've gotten used to the cold. My head gets wet and it's exhausting to walk with snow up to my ancles, but I don't get cold anymore. I am a viking after all XD
I'm not really as miserable as I look, I just didn't feel like posing so much out in the street alone :p