A happy birthday party!

In the event that I suddenly don't know who I am or even who I want to be, I suddenly got the urge to use some left over hair colour I had lying around.
It turned out allright I guess. Not so good at the roots, because they've never been bleached, but I guess I don't really care that much at the moment.
Supergrin. Anyone can do it!

So this was Friday, and we were going out to celebrate Cats birthday. Kinda feel like we've been celebrating it all week XD
The party was taking place at the same place as we did Alex's party the week before, but before that I met up with her at uni. And let me tell you it is not easy to get anywhere these days! I opened my door and suddenly I was in the Norwegian highlands, the snow had been sweeped around by the wind and there wasn't even the slightest trace of a trail from the house down to the street XD
The trains too were in complete chaos, but I did get there eventually.
Cat carries an eyepatch in the purse, for some reason. And now, for some other reason, it's in MY purse. How did that get there and what am I gonna do with it?XD

Also had a lovely shot of Cat with the eyepatch on her nose (I smell a new Visual Kei-trendXD), but she didn't agree with me that the world wide web needed to see that picture. But I've got another great shot for the world wide web!
That's the birthday girl :D

Marjus(who kinda runs the pub we were going to) had told us we could come in a bit early and decorate or whatever, so we were there like half an hour before. Marjus, however, was not XD
But we found this:
Eivind had also been nerd enough to show up ridiculously early, and so all we could do was hang out at the closest grocery store.
Finally I remembered I had Marjus' number from when we were in the same class, so I called him and he said he was just on his way out. I think he was there at eight on the dot, which is when the pub opens XD
It's not a very frequented place (not yet anyway ;) so there was no line or anything. Which was great, because we were hoping there wouldn't be so many people we didn't know.
A few other guests did show up, but half the place was taken up by Cats birthday party. So many people showed up and the mood was so nice!

I should have gotten more pictures of everyone, but I was kinda preoccupied with talking to friends.
Since it's V-day on Monday they had a Valentine-game, where everyone was to pick a piece of a heart out of a box, and then find the person with the unique piece that fitted yours. There were some unlikely pairings XD
Aww, they even have matching shirts XD
I didn't join, I don't think I need more men in my life right now f^-^

And then it was burfday cake time!
Heidi (who by the way baked the amazing cake. Oreo)looked completely stunning that day, I can't say it enough. She swore she hadn't dressed up more than usual, but she looked so cool! Marjus, in the background, looks slightly psycho killer-kei here XD
One can only guess what she wished for. I think I know some of the things ^-^
I think it's a long time since someone invited this many people and it turned out so great!

Going home we missed the last train, but we caught a bus and it's so easy to loiter on the night buses in Norway we went all the way home to Jacks place for no money at all^^b
We also had an extra passanger, because Eivind suddenly didn't want to go home alone. Which made the sleeping situation a little tight.
Jack and Cilliee both slept in Jacks room, and then Kimmie was gonna be on the sofa and Cat, Eivind and I had to sleep head-to-foot in Cats bed. I guess we're all what you can call old friends, so it wasn't really akward, but I kinda felt like I was back to that time when you're just out of junior high, making new friends and having these massive parties where everyobody stays over and sleeps in heeps on the couthces and floor and everywhere XD
Seems like the last train home wasn't invented back then.
Go nostalgia :p



Speaking of ...."new friends"? I don't know.
The reason for me being fucked in the head lately is, ofcourse, the man... or rather the men, I guess.
Nuts is still being incredably frustrating. I get that he's a slow writer and way too busy all the time, but this time it's been more than a week since I heard from him. I hate this long distance thing, I mean even if I was in Japan now I'd be eating up my finger nails going "why doesn't he love meeee?!" even though I know he likes me. The problem is that I don't think he's really that INTERESTED in me. Being together is fun and cuddling up together, ofcourse, is nice, but I can't blame him for not seeing a future in it. Sooo, that fucks me up.
What saves me, and maybe fucks me up even more, is.... this other dude.
We've been sending mail since I got back, and I was thinking he was being awfully friendly, but for once my ego couldn't convince me he actually liked me, even though Cat kept going on and on that he did, it would just be too strange.
But he does, or he's "seriously interested", if you can dig it. Poor japanese tranlation, sorry:p
He's really nice, and kinda hot and he sends a lot of mail. Interesting mail, with like pictures an stuff:
Very interesting, I know, but it's things like these that keeps you in touch. This is what I ate today, this is the waether today, this is todays backstage.
And this is where he lives, I know, I should just shut up and marry the guy XD
Buuuuut, the thing is that he's a lot older than me (at least in my standards) and also he kinda sorta plays in a band I like, and that compromises a lot. Plus, I like NutsO__O
I have to admit I'm really flattered and really happy (and really confused) about it all, but it's not up for discussion. And still I catch myself thinking about all the reasons why it wouldn't work, as if I'm actually trying to convince myself to stay away. And it should be the other way around, right? Or maybe not?

Yes, it is Hell inside my head.

Hey can I sleep by your side

My latest art piece.
It's called "Skin and feathers" (in Norwegian "Hud og fjær"). It's an angel. I used to love drawing angels when I was in high school, I was so hung up on that song Chop Suey by system of a Down. You know "when angels deserve to die..."
This angel is pretty different from the ones I drew back then, but they all had kind of a sinfull thing about them XD
This will be in my exhibition in May^^

I'm still pretty damn sick, but the medicine mom brought for me yesterday really helped, and I had a good nights sleep.
I can not have milk though! I thought I would be ok because of the medicine, and I have to warn you, this will be kind of disgusting, -so I had cerial for breakfast, like I normally would and my throat got so slimy!
I've tried to stay away from dairy products all day, but I've instructed my sweet dad too well, and he's made me two cups of tea WITH milk^^;
Well, let's hope the medicine can fend it off. I also had some other good things happen to me today^^ And something slightly ... complicated. I guess you could just say I'm big in Japan...

もしも願い一つだけ、かなうなら・・・

So, last days in Japan. The final day we actually did anyhting worth mentioning was the 16.?17.? Don't remember the date correctly, but Cat and I were going to a rowthe live.
I'm wearing black, I know. Really wasn't myself the last few days, and I'd found this adorable HellcatPunks cardigan at Closet Child.
Jun, the drummer of rowthe, had been sweet enough to put us on the list, so we would get our tickets at preordered price. Which was good, seeing as we were so slow at getting our asses out the door, we bloody nearly missed their show O__O
We also had to drink before going, so Cat would have the courage to speak japanese. It's incredable how she gets better when she drinks, I'm the exact opposite XD
She'd bought something called Bee Happy, from the local Ministop, it's actually honey and ginger-spirits, and it was really tasty... to beging with. Kinda got worse and worse with every sip...

And no, I don't think we're drunk here. I wasn't drunk, maybe she was, I don't think so. Anyway, we had to go to Meguro/Ebisu, two places to which I have never been. We even got on the Metro, which which we never use, and considering we also didn't know where the live house was at, it was quite an achievement that we actually got there in time.
Even after entering the live house we had no idea where to go. Turns out it was down down down down, like four or five flights of stairs, deep into the earth. Ironically I actually had cell phone reception, and I never do at your normal basement 1.floor live house^^

The place was huge, not crowded at all. We could stand almost wherever we wanted.
And the live was fabulous!
We really fell for rowthe after the last live we saw with them (the one with Roach and Chemical Pictures) so we had been really looking forward to seeing them again.
The music is so... tight? that it seems like a wall of sound, but it doesn't close you out, it kinda closes around you, so I guess it's more like a bubble... I know, brilliant explenation, you know JUST what they sound like now XD
Here's their home page: http://www.geocities.jp/rowthe_012/pc/index.html
It's wierd though, seeing people you kind of know playing out their stage personas^^; I don't know where to look. But then with rowthe you can always look at Non-chan(bassist), cause she has her back to the audience XD
At first we didn't think Twuma (vocals) was gonna be there, 'cause they started out with like four instrumentals, and we'd seen on his blog that he'd been to the hospital the last week. But luckily he was there, the music is never quite the same without that beautiful haunting voice of his.
Here's Cat(I love how Sadako she looks XD) and I at am/pm, getting something to eat and heating up while waiting for the band afterwards. It was party time :D

It was nice to talk to Non-chan again, she wasn't at the last party^^ Nice to see a girl in a band for once. Some of the Roach fangirls were there as well, so we weren't alone.
Twuma had seemed in pretty good shape on stage, considering the photos he shwoed us on his cell phone. He had had to crack open a collar bone that had healed crooked, and put metal spikes in it. He had this huge sergical cut on his shoulder, it looked really brutal. But he was still up for a party.

Just then I got a mail from Nuts, and suddenly I wasn't so much in a party mood anymore. Well, that's what I told him anyway, and so he invited me over.
Was kind of sad not to be able to go to rowthes uchiage, and felt bad about leaving Cat there, but she was completely fine. Non-chan took good care of her,a nd the other band members too. And there were even a few 'celibrities' there:p

Nuts made me tea and we kind of watched the EVA movie, and kind of not. I've always liked this song, but now it's kind of special...


And then we talked. A lot. And I guess I cried a little too much, but it doesn't seem like I scared him. Though I can't have made much sense to him, crying and trying to speak japanese at the same time. But I think he knows now, if he didn't already.

I got a mail at the airport, saying he was sorry he couldn't see us off, but he couldn't get off work. I choose to believe he actually wanted too, 'cause I'm actually pretty sure he's the kind of guy who wouldn't just make that up.
I'm so scared of losing contact while I'm away. We're sending mail and all, but he's slow as ever. I just want to go back and see him as soon as I can, but right now it's impossible and stupid to to go just for his sake.
Wow, hearing that song again really fucked me up.
Cheer up, you're going to a christmas party today! That's right, it's Christmas!

It's that time again...

It's time to go back home, the last two days have been kind of stressfull. Cat bought a bag to fit all her stuff...

...and herself in. I got to use her beaten up suitcase as a post package to mail the stuff I can't carry to the airport. No guy to carry the luggage to the airport, it's kind of wierd... I know someone I wish would come but we're not on that level... and I can imagine the face he'd make under the weight of my bag would break my heart completely XD
Here we are in the process of packing, this morning.


Actually, the room has looked kind of like this all the time we've been here. I'm so glad the girls we live with arn't uptight^^;

When we finally decided we needed a break for breakfast it was Dotour again. This time we hit the big one and bought cake!

It's pumpkin tart! Ok, honestly we've been snacking like pigs all week, but we're feeling so sorry for ourselves XD Three months in Japan is too short...

Cat, looking sad. Actually I've noticed she always looks kind of sad, or like she's not happy with her food, even when she is. I just noticed recently :p Oh well, I love her anyway!

Did some drawing at the cafe as well. We've been arting quite alot lately, so when I got home I'll post some of the pictures I've made. Putting your heart on the brink kind of gives you inspiration ^^
Also, I'll post more about the final days in Japan when I get back (and possably after the Mucc-live, depends on how jet lagged I am when I get home). Really need to go to bed now!

Our final meal in Japan was, naturally, idian :D This has got to be the biggest naan bread I've ever seen! I had to call it quits after two thirds, and that NEVER happens.
Anyway, we're leaving a lot of stuff behind, for the girls in our room and possably new guests to enjoy.
Handsoap
Toothpaste
candy
couch pills
stuff for cleaning wounds(and piercings)
Shanpoo
Conditionar
Hair removal products
Mild soap

everything us sleezy party girls need XD

It's just a little crush, not like I...

We held our last concert (only until next time I come back to Japan) the other day.
I still had that nasty cold I cought BEFORE going to Osaka. I think the house we lived in wasn't a very healthy one, because everyone there had some kind of cough.
We only had time for one practice day before the show (since I had been so selfish to use some of my hard earned money and holyday to go to Osaka), so Tomo had put us up for five hours... which is way too much, especially if you're not in very good shape.
So before the last hour my body just gave in, not to mention my voice who I really should be saving for the following day.
It was a hard day, but I did get my birthday present form the band...

A star shaped tamburine! Just the one I wanted :D
I don't know much about playing the tamburine yet, but there is a right way to do it, and I'm going to check it out on Youtube!
I also kind of want a case for it. Do they even sell tamburine cases... starshaped ones...?
Finally I can carry an instrument after practice too, like everyone else!

The following day was a live, and my voice was in no state for singing...

Here's me, dressed (or not dressed) for the rehersal.
I had ginger in hot water (which is something my mom used to make me when I had a sore throut back in the days of my high school band) and also had chocolate, which somehow helped^^
My mood was really good, I really looked forward to the show, and it turned out great, allthough I'm sure I fell terribly out of key on our newest song, "Keep in mind", which is kind of high. My voice could not go there that day. But the crowd was awsome, even though hardly any of our friends could come that day.

Here's a group that we met again, that we've played with once before. The dude on the left, and the girl, named Si-non(shinon). They play kind of animesong-ish j-pop, which is not my thing, but they're good at what they do, and also they're cool people, so it was fun seeing them again.
Also, my friend Naoki, the blond dude beside me, and the only guy I had managed to drag to the show that day, was REALLY happy to see them (wel, her XD) again.

After the show we had an uchiage (afterparty), just the band and Cat. Most of us were really tired, but we did manage to get down quite a few drinks and a mountain of chicken and edamame. I also have an hillarious video of Tomo talking about his jacket, because the guys decided to play "nihongo kinchi game" (japanese is forbidden game).


Mario, demonstrating just how hard his hair is. He uses sentaku nori (washing machine glue??) to spike it. It sounds dangerous, and I'm sure it is.
It was a fun night, even though out support drummer, Hayato-kun (who has got to be the nicest guy in the world!), couldn't come. I've been feeling really close with the band lately, though I'm not sure how it's all going to turn out, eventually.


Speaking of something entirely different (I'm sorry, toooo lazy to make two posts), I finally got my date with this guy I actually really like. You know, Natsu, who I met just before going to Osaka.
Here's what I wore...

I kind of thought I'd hold back on the pink, because he's a rocker boy, and I'm not sure he's into the whole princess thing but... I'm sure you can agree that I failed on that one.
And I had also bought this purse, because I've noticed how my shoulders always get sore and tired, and then I get annoyed.

So I've bought a shopping/date bag, and it's so much more comfortable.

We originally had the date plan of doom, which was to go to see the manbou(sun fish) at the actuarium in Sunshine City (I've been wanting to see that fish forever!) and then go to Tokyo Tower, to which I have never been.
Unfortunately the aquarium was closed for some reason (kanji-kanji, I can't always read what he writes XD), so we changed the location to Roppongi Hills.
Ofcourse I was a little bit late, which I totally wasn't planning to be, but I'm not really familiar with the Tokyo Metro :(
He said he didn't mind though. And I was so happy when we met, because he really is as cute as I remembered (but he's not a stud at all, which I also really like). And he's really skinny (I've been complaining to Cat all the time we were in Osaka, that he'd probably grown a beer belly during new years XD). I'm into skinny guys, ok?

Anyway, none of us were familiar with Roppongi Hills, and we had to wander around for a long time just to find a place to eat lunch.

This is a thousand yen cheezeburger... it was pretty tall though, and I got a ton of fries and a roll cake on the side. I was supposed to stop eating fries... but he helped me :) And he also ate my pickle :D:D:D
Yes, I am that happy about that.

Afterwards we went to see the view on the observation deck.

I actually saw Fujisan(Mt.Fuji) for the first time in my life. Though it was impossible to take a picture... and we wrote down out New Years wishes and stuff.
The ticket to the observation deck also got us into a crazy art exhibition with an artist called Odani. I really liked it, though it was very dark business. And the best part is that he liked it too! He wasn't bored or bumbed out going to an art exhibition!
He was really tired afterwards though, from all the strong impressions, he said. I kind of feel he's a person who breaks really easily, he seems frail.
Not only 'cause he's so skinny, but he also has this kind of haunted expression on his face most of the time. He'd had a strange pain in his side since the day we met(two weeks earlier, and he hadn't been to the doctor) and he smokes XD
Anyway, we also got to enter a kind of planetarium. Not the kind where you go to make out, unfortunately, but it was really beautiful. And dark! I should have taken my chance and grabbed his hand, not to walk into him, but I'm a coward...(T_T)

After the hills we went to Tokyo Tower, as planned.

It was really pretty in the dark! And kind of romantic, just there was a lot of people around... I mean, it's Tokyo Tower!

And Tokyo is so pretty in the night! Looks just like christmas illumination!

This is the only picture I have of us together :p I kind of had to force him, You can't see it in the picture, but underneath the glass is a fall into certain death!
For some reason it seemed men had a much bigger problem stepping on this than women, allthough I did have to force myself the first times too.

After that we kind of went upa nd down the elevator and back and forth a bit, to check out everything there was to check out at Tokyo Tower. We didn't go to the was museum or anything though, I've heard it sucks. Also, it cost money, and I'd felt like such a creep for having him pay for the expencive meal and ticket at Roppongi Hills, so I had bought my own ticket at the Tower.

So finally we were downstairs and wondering where to go next. He'd been asking me all day "what to do about the morning", so I kind of had high hopes for the night, but suddenly he said he was sorry, but he had to go home and rest. He was feeling sick!
wtf. I totally felt I was being dumped by the only guy I've really cared about since I came here this time, but it really looked like he was serious.
I guess making my date sick is actually better than being dumped though :p But what an anti climax.

Luckily, I got to see him again the other day. I was to come over to his place when he finished work (like 12 in the night, he works at a recording studio) and have private drinking party at his apartment.
We were to meet at 00:30, but he got held back at work (by mucc, apparently, so I can't complain^^). Fortunately there's a McDonalds near where he lives, so I could wait for him there.
His apartment was a littlebit chilly, like most japanese apartments are in winter, but it had like five guitars and a computer with big speakers. He also gave me a blanket, placed me in front of the heater and made me something to eat.
I had so much fun, and he really is alot more outgoing when he gets drunk.

Might have had a bit too much fun, but if nothing had happened I think I would have exploded, or cried my self to sleep besdie him. Maybe just cried until he noticed to make him comfort me, this is what I've become XD
I did talk to him about some stuff though, partly 'cause Mina had warned me about how some(most) japanese guys think, and partly because I already had that impression myself, from experience. But I'm pretty sure he's not like that. He's not a gyaruo, and he's actually older than me, and seems alittle bit more serious. I'm not sure how serious though, and there's only one week left...
I'm going to go back to Norway with a achy heart either way.
We're still sending mail, maybe even more than before, and hopefully we can meet again one of the following days. Cat and I also moved to Tokyo yesterday, so I'm only half an hour away from him by train now.

But that's right! Yesterday we gathered our extremely heavy bags and headed for the City.
After a very tireing trip with huge luggage and a problem with a taxi driver, we finally got to our hostel. It seems very nice, though it's way too cold!

After arriving we went to a yakiniku place. We'd been wanting to eat yakiniku for so long.
The food was very nice, though it was kind of expensive and the played shit korean music. More than anythink it was nice and warm in there.

I'm not sure we'll be able to eat anything but Sukiya and McDonalds from now on.
And maybe we have to do all our shopping and camwhoring at Ministop XD

Here's an update...

For various reasons I havn't been able to post here for waaay too long, and I'm sorry about that.
To sum up my time in Japan this far it's been a lot of fun.
When I came here I lived at my ex-boyfriend, Tomos house but luckily I got an invite from my friend Mina that I could come stay with her.
Her apartment is a lot warmer and brighter, and I feel alot easier at mind here.
Not that I don't like being with Tomo. I think I still have feelings for him, but right now I can't date him. I have to figure out what is really right for me first, because breaking up again would just be too painful.
I know he probably want wait forever, and I don't want him to, but I can't rush back into it.

My band (Salty Dog) had our first live the other day, and it was great!
It was only a school festival at my old university, but it was so much fun and everyone seemed to enjouy themselves. Can't wait for our next one in just a few days.

I've been to some concerts myself too. First I went with some of my kouhais to see Ayabie (kind of crippled by the lack of vocals, and I love Yumehito and all, but he is not really as good at singing as he is on the recording for the new song!), Megamasso and Zoro. Also playing were BORN (who I totally fell in love with), SuG (who at least had a fun show) and Lolita 23ku who I unfortunately didn't get to see all of, because my friends had to go all the way back to Togane, where they live, and that's really far!
Yesterday, the 12. of December, I went to see 12012. Really nervous about wether there would be a message that they were breaking up.
But there wasn't! I'm not really sure if there was a decicion of wether to continue either, but from what I've gathered they still havn't decided. But Wataru talked alot about looking towards the future and stuff. The concert was basically a goodbye to Yuusuke, which is really really sad, but he was so cool until the end, and he said he didn't want to see our crying faces. It really made me smile through the tears.
The only one who looked unusually serious was Tohru, like he wasn't in on this at all. I hope he's allright, I know he really really wants the band to go on. So do I. But I had sweet dreams last night.

I've been kind of dating this kind of useless gyaruo for a few weeks. My friends call him Shinjuku, because he claims to be "shinjuku-kei" and not Shibuya-kei, though nobody really seems to see any difference. I know, all the time I spend badmouthing gyaryuo, and then I go off dating one. "dating", by the way. Can't say my impression has gotten any better either :p
He's very selfish, hardly ever carrys my food tray and stuff, and he's really not the brightest guy... he didn't know the true meaning of the word "fuck"(even though he really should) and he read the kanjis for Keyo-line as Keba-line. Seriously XDXD
He's also very stingy, wchich is what surprised me the most. Except for the fact that he isnists that we're dating, ofcourse. Why is he making such an effort when I'm completely ok (actually a lot better) with just being playmates. So why do I keep him around? Hmmm, 'cause I'm stupid and he is really cute and I really want a cute guy to warm my bed^^;; God, I suck XD

I've been to a few dates with other guys, but I am just too focused on looks. And I can't seem to like anyone who's not younger than me. The exception being this dude Kaworu, who I7ve been to one date with and really had a great time. He's actually quite abit older than me but he likes visual kei and he really reminds me of Daisuke lookwise, except he has a very bright personallity.
There's only one thing, he's a host by profession (but our date wasn't work), so becoming his girlfriend is completely out of the question, and for precaution I've also decided to assume anything he sais is actually a lie, even if he sounds really senciere.
I would like to meet him again though.

So yeah... guy trouble :p
Not as much as mye friend Sayaka though, but she ended up with a guy she's liked for a long time, even if he wasn't her ideal and all. I really hope it'll turn out all right, because she really needs that now^^

Tomorrow my BFF will finally be here, and I'm looking forward to meeting her! The busy days will go on from here, with my brthday and our concert and Disney Land with a few friends and concerts with Cats favourite band, Roach (hmm, seems like there's no time to meet my host...).
I'm a bit nervous about my birthday, because I realized I've told a lot of guys that I'm 22 XD It scares me how easy I lie about my age these days and I think my plan for the new year will be not to tell so many lies.

It should be all good from here, only my other wisedomtooth has started to hurt and I'm scared I might have to have it yanked out here in Japan, by a dentist I don't know. I'm a real coward when it comes to this.
I havn't daret to tell my mom this yet, because I don't want her to worry about me. So I havn't written it in my norwegian blog. I'm still hoping it will blow over this time though, I had a lot of pains in the other one before it got really bad, but it kind of clouds my days.
I don't know anyone who knows how to set up a dentist appointment. And I don't really have time to walk around with a swollen face, not being able to eat anything but italian pizza... Can't it just hold on till I get back to Norway??
Why do I always put things off?

Anyways, sorry, no pictures in this post, I'm kind of in a hurry. Maybe I'll post some later^^